


in or out

by ballerinaroy



Series: romione drabbles [23]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:04:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27230116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ballerinaroy/pseuds/ballerinaroy
Summary: Ron returns home from a mission. He should have quit a long time ago.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Series: romione drabbles [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1870747
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	in or out

He’d only stayed on with the Aurors to keep himself sane. The few months he’d tried stepping away he’d pestered Harry into madness trying to stay up to date until the Head Auror himself had to stage an intervention.

“Either in our out Weasley,” Gawain said harshly. “I can’t risk my Aurors for your own peace of mind.”

So they’d come to a compromise. Not all the time. Sometimes not even months at all. Mostly fieldwork, keeping an ear low to the ground from the twin’s shop or sometimes asking someone out for a drink just to figure out what they knew. The part of the job he’d enjoyed.

Then of course there was Harry. The real benefit of his arrangement with the ministry was that he could still be there for his best mate. Completely. Gawain never asked him to go on a mission again but whenever Harry even whispered that Ron was needed he was always ready.

He’d do anything for Harry. Always had. Always would. Even the impossible.

It had been a bloodbath…no that wasn’t a strong enough word it had been….God. Days spent in hiding, blinded, bleeding, not knowing if he’d make it out not knowing if he’d been made, if Harry…if they knew…if Hermione and the kids were in danger…God he’d never forgive himself if Rose or Hugo…

“It’s okay,” Hermione whispered as she shook him awake the dozenth night in a row. “It’s okay, you’re home. It’s okay.”

He blinked at her, bolting up in the bed and wiping the blood from his chest frantically. He could hear himself grunting as he scrubbed at his skin it was turning raw it was…

“It’s just sweat,” Hermione whispered tugging at his hands. “Ron, breathe, come back.”

He looked down at his hands but they weren’t stained with red. Panting he looked up at her, a worried look on her face.

“It’s okay,” she whispered again, holding her hands out in an open position as she crawled out of the bed and over to him. “It’s okay, I’m here. We’re fine.”

He should have quit a long time ago.

The kids had been staying at Hermione’s parents ever since he’d been found. Their whole lives he’d gone away for days at a time. They thought it normal to be staying with relatives while their mother worked. 

Too young to understand what it meant for their father to be in the hospital

“Daddy!” Rose squealed, her voice an impossible pitch. “Daddy you’re home!”

“Rose,” Hermione hissed, grabbing their daughter’s shoulder before she could fling herself at him. “Remember what we talked about?”

Rose pouted but stayed back, smiling at her father. “Daddy, grandma took me to the art museum and out to tea and-“

Her voice quickened with excitement and the words became jumbled, a story about a painting, no a statue, no a big ball of-

Ron closed his eyes against the noise, words floating to him, pulling him back. Red. His ears began to ring. Red. A painting, no, red like the-

“Ron,” Hermione whispered and he opened his eyes. Rose was staring at him differently now, confusion littering her face.

“That’s nice,” he managed, but could not force his cheeks to arrange into a smile.

Rose looked up at Hermione, worried.

“Why don’t you go to your room Rose?” Hermione instructed their daughter, bending down and managing a teasing look. “I think I saw a special surprise on your bed.”

Rose’s face light up and she, distracted, ran from the room. Ron listened as her little feet echoed down the hallway and heard her excited gasp as she spotted the stuffed dragon on her bed. Her little squeal made him wince.

“Is it too much?” Hermione asked quietly. “Because my mum said she could take them both again and I can still get to school if I-“

“It’s fine,” Ron replied, standing up and walking out the door.

He hadn’t meant to stay out long but when at last his stomach grumbled with hunger he looked around to find the street lamps had already kicked on. He looked around, not entirely sure where he was, didn’t recognize the park, or the bench he’d been sitting on.

He’d left the house to get a breath of fresh air and then-Ron supposed he’d been walking for a while.

Disappointment sunk into him as he stood in the kitchen. Dinner already eaten and put away. Down the hall, he could hear the sounds of their nighttime routine taking place without him. Brushing teeth, using the toilet, and then quiet playtime or a story before bed.

Lately Rose had decided she was too old for someone else to read her a bedtime story and had begun arranging her stuffed animals to have an audience. Ron could remember all the times he had stood just outside her doorway, listening to her recant the stories they had told her.

He snuck towards the bedrooms, listening to Rose’s little voice, pausing in places as they did so Hermione might read a word to her.

“And then the- do you remember what this word is mummy?”

“Hmmm,” Hermione said, presenting to ponder. “B-e-a-r-s,” she read-out-loud. “Be-ar-s. Bears.”

“Oh, thanks you,” Rose said in a perfect imitation of her mother.

“And then the bears lived happily ever after.” Rose finished. “The end.”

“Oh, thank you for the story,” Hermione said and then the soft sound of her kissing Rose’s head. She gave an exaggerated yawn. “I think I’m all ready for bed myself.”

Ron listened as she stood, putting the book back on its place on the shelf and then back to Rose’s bed to tuck her in a final time.

“Mummy?” Rose asked quietly. “Is daddy okay?”

“He just went for a walk Rosie,” Hermione explained. “He’ll be back soon.”

“Oh,” Rose answered and Ron could picture perfectly her little frown. “He seemed sad.”

“Do you remember how we talked about daddy getting hurt?”

“Yes.”

“Well, when we get hurt it can take time to feel better. It’s like when we get sick. We time and quiet to make the bad feelings go away.” Hermione explained. “And we can help daddy by telling him we love him and keeping our voices down.”

“And he’ll feel better?” Rose asked in a sleepy voice.

“Yes, he’ll feel better,” Hermione said, “Now go to sleep. We’ve got to get up for school in the morning.”

He pictured her bending down to kiss her temple. “I love you.”

“Did I scare her?” Ron asked Hermione as she emerged. 

She shook her head, unsurprised to find him standing there. “No, she’s just worried about you. She’ll be okay.”

Ron blinked a couple of times, staring at the wall their daughter lay on the other side of. “Maybe I should go away, for a little bit. Let you and the kids-”

“Please, don’t say that,” Hermione said quickly and for the first time she looked terrified. “Please don’t even think it.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “I’m just trying to do what’s best for all of you.”

“Then don’t suggest it again,” Hermione begged. “I need you, here.”

She reached for his hand and gave it a little squeeze though his fingers did not respond. “Please, Ron, I’m okay, Rose is okay. We’ll be okay so long as you stay here.”


End file.
